Ding Ding, The Big BS Belief Bus Terminates Here!

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When we have BS stories in our heads, like about who we are and how we are allowed to show up and have in life, they end up driving the bus. Even if we want to go one way, the big BS belief bus will take us somewhere else and we don’t always see that there’s another way we can go. We get so used to our own patterns by thinking a certain way, we totally can’t see that there are other modes of transport and other destinations.

Just like me and my history of low self esteem slowing down my achievements or even Hannah from my last post, with her “I can’t” story. I honestly believe if nobody had said anything to her to correct that story for her, she probably would have gone through life with not so much belief in her own abilities, and I’m certain this would then affect choices she made and opportunities she took later down the line.

This time I’d like to share a story from someone who took part in one of my free challenges in the I Dare You Project a short while ago.

So, this super sweet lady had felt quite down for a few years. She had a lovely husband, a lovely home and some awesome doggy companions too. But she really wanted a family. They’d been trying for years but no joy.

When you’ve tried something for so long and it doesn’t happen, your head can start to tell you you’re a failure. You can start to think you’ve let people down around you. You cringe at anyone asking you about it. You look at people around you, your friends, your colleagues, people you look up to and even in the messaging around you in films, magazines, just everyone.

Feeling like a failure isn’t really something people want to talk about, you feel ashamed and that feeds your head even more and it can go further and further downhill into a pit of your own despair.

Now I don’t know the thoughts of this lady in particular but I have had feelings of being a failure, or things taking much longer than you had hoped or having to give up something because it just wasn’t right. I have felt ashamed and I have felt like I didn’t know who to talk to.

If you don’t have something to snap you out of that train of thought, your own pattern, you continue on a downward spiral.

You need a pattern interrupt. Something to inspire a plot twist.

Sometimes it’s just knowing that there are other possibilities, other options, other ways of thinking about it – a reframe.

I had no idea how this lady was feeling until I received a heartfelt message thanking me.

 

 

Something I did, or said and put out there, planted a seed in someone’s life and changed it – not just for them, but for a little girl too.

Sometimes you don’t need to turn your life upside down to make it better, you just have to have something (or someone) to remind you there’s another way.

I’m not telling you this to blow my own trumpet. I’m telling you this because the idea I had to do the I Dare You Challenge scared the living crap out of me for ages. I procrastinated and I couldn’t tell anyone about it for ages.

It felt silly, I felt like I would be judged. But I worked through it and it’s an idea that evolved and is helping people. So it’s things like this that we have to come back to when self doubt kicks in.

Sometimes there are things bigger than ourselves that we feel called to do. We have dreams and ideas for a reason. We have to come back to why we are doing them and not listen to our heads which only want to keep us small and safe. Every time I get scared, doubt my ability or listen any other silly thing my head tries to come up with, I come back to those things – why I am doing it and how is it being of good service to others. Seeing how I’ve been able to help people is always a good reminder to keep going. By not listening to the part of myself that told me my idea was silly, I was able to help someone in a way I could never have imagined.

And I’ve been helping people like this lady ever since.

 

p.s. if this resonated with you and you want support working through this, Professional Rebel’s Courage and Confidence Crew is just what you need!

A community for unconventional, creative and rebellious women who want to develop the courage and confidence to live life unedited – find out more here!

 

 

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Following the flow of your natural gifts and talents

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I never planned to become a mentor.

Well, except for that one time at Uni when me and my friends signed up to every society meeting that had free food at the meetings.

Yes, I left pockets filled with sausage rolls and biscuits and no shame whatsoever. And a couple of weeks later I had a CB check through. Nothing ever came of it though – they must have realised we only came for the food and not the mentoring.

Anyway, I digress.

So, this mentoring stuff – it sort of happened by accident, which in my experience is always the best way. Creative flow at it’s finest. It’s whenever my life works best. And with the gift of hindsight, I’ve been able to see just how much I’ve always done this for people – I even recently came across an old letter from one of my teachers praising me for giving up my time to help younger pupils at school. Cheers Miss Fry.

 

 

Anyway, about a year or so ago, I received a call from one of my biz buddies, Joanne who works at Chester Voluntary Action – about a girl who had just dropped out of 6th form and was looking for some volunteering opportunities. She was interested in photography so Joanne asked if I would take her along on a shoot or two to build her confidence. 

We met for cake and tea and to have a chat. 

I saw a very lovely, yet totally unsure and timid girl. I saw a lot of myself in her – the not feeling quite like you fit with everyone else around you. Except this girl had bigger lady balls than I did at her age – she actually had the courage to drop out of 6th form because it was making her unhappy.

First thing I did was say how awesome she was for actually listening to how she felt and taking action. Some people go through their whole lives knowing something isn’t right but they don’t have the strength to do anything for themselves. They don’t want to rock the boat. They don’t want to stand out and be different. They don’t want to be judged. So they carry on regardless.

It felt like this was music to her ears. After all, there’s a set path after finishing school and some adults haven’t really cottoned on to how the world has changed since they were in that position.

I gave her a couple of dates to come on shoots with me and off we went.

In the car we talked about life, the universe and everything.

I felt really wise! She would often say, ‘oh my goodness, that makes so much sense’ or ‘wow, I’ve never really thought about it like that’. I’d remind her that I had many more years under my belt, had made enough of my own stupid mistakes and have also spent the past few years working on myself, working on personal growth and healing many years of shitty thoughts and trauma, as well as judgement from others about wanting something more for myself.

Since coming on to do a couple of shoots with me, she went and made a heck of a lot of connections around town, set up her own meet up group for other teens with self confidence issues and is soon to be jetting off to Australia for a few months. We still meet up every now and then for cake and tea. I still help with new perspectives on dealing with parents and boys but mainly it’s nice to know that in a way, the ups and downs of my life and my own issues with self confidence have been able to help someone else so much.

 

“When I dropped out of my A-Level’s-due to being completely unhappy – I thought I had totally lost my way. I felt as though I had failed at life! Marie-Claire helped me to see that it was only the beginning of the journey to my happiness and it definitely wasn’t the end of the world.
It’s been about 8 months since I met Marie-Claire and I am the happiest I’ve ever been! She has a wonderful positive energy that when I leave her presence I feel as though I could take on the world. She helps you to see the important things in life and to fulfill your potential. She is bouncing with self confidence and has helped me and many others to feel the same way about themselves.
She just has an overall gift for making people happy. I feel honoured and privileged to know her and I don’t think I will ever be able to thank her enough for the huge impact that she’s had on my life. “
Gaynor B. January 2017

 

I fell into this by just doing what I’m naturally good at and have helped hundreds of people since mentoring Gaynor. Sometimes all we need is someone to see us for who we really are. To validate us. To encourage us. To know we’re not alone.

If this resonated with you and you want to do something about it, Professional Rebel’s Courage and Confidence Crew is just what you need! A community for unconventional, creative and rebellious women who want to develop the courage and confidence to live life unedited – find out more here!

 

 

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