Is your brain a massive dickhead?
Listen up oh fabulous one,
There you are, a lovely, creative human bean – talented, ambitious and passionate, yet ever so slightly weird and wonderful at the same time.
It’s a delicious combination.
The thing is though… people just don’t get you.
You’re trying your best to human and not feel like shit whilst you ride the wave called life but the world doesn’t always feel like an easy place to live in, and well, everyone else just seems to have their shit together.
But you’re not like all the others.
Feeling frustrated, misunderstood and even a little bit broken – you hide parts of yourself, you tell yourself there’s something wrong with you, that you’re flawed, a failure and there’s something about you that you need to be ashamed of.
There’s a glorious spark inside you and no matter how much you try and contain it and tamp it down, everyone around you can feel it – it’s the reason why you’ve never felt like you fitted anywhere.
Your light is really shiny and bright.
Instead of screaming from the rooftops and celebrating it, you hold back, wear a mask and make yourself small so you don’t get judged or make everyone around you uncomfortable.
There’s so much you do want to do with your life – dreams, ideas, adventures – things that just feel like wayyyy too much fun to even be allowed to happen in one lifetime…
But the very thought of actually making it happen makes you shrink, hide and curl up in a ball.
Cue brain in cockblock mode…
Telling you you’re weak, you can’t do it, and you’re not good enough.
That you’re broken, that there’s something wrong with you and that it’s too hard.
That there’s no point in even trying.
That spark inside you starts to dim and fade away.
You go back to holding yourself back again, hiding, and feeling awkward.
Living a life that feels like my skinny jeans, two sizes too small.