Want to know why I bang on about ‘know yourself, be yourself and f*%@ing own it’ all the time and why it’s such a big thing for Professional Rebel?
Because if you don’t have confidence in business, if you don’t see what you bring to the table in business, if you can’t see what makes you special in business – you will keep holding yourself back, missing opportunities and feeling frustrated too.
You may even give up completely.
This is me, 2013 – my business headshot, taken by an assistant after shooting some headshots for corporate clients.

Standard white backdrop, flattering 45-degree angle to the camera, pleasant and not too grinny (read scary) smile – your linkedin approved seal of dullard.
Except it was still kinda me, with the copper coloured hair I had at the time and a fringe you could underline your homework with, paired with classy double leopard print obviously, but something about it is oh so wrong.
It doesn’t take a genius to notice something about it was off.
Might not look it straight away to someone who doesn’t know me – but feel into it and you know what I mean.
I’d already been in business full time about 2 years by then. I was making moolah, growing and had already started developing a brand.
I knew in my deepest heart that something about me wasn’t like my peers – be it other photographers or other biz owners in the area – and I stood out because of it.
And that’s a good thing, right?
I was always being told that I had such a cool website, my looks were brave and it seemed like I didn’t give a shit what other people thought of me.

But the insides still didn’t match the outsides – it didn’t matter what I presented out to the world, the stories I’d created about my past, my life experiences and who I was acted like a glass ceiling to any real success.
They also acted like one-way mirror to opportunities that would take me to where I wanted to go.
I was completely invisible to the people I truly wanted to work with. Not only that, it was as if my energy repelled them!
I could not see who I was or how I really helped people or what I was really here to do.
I was only working with a fraction of my magic.
And this whole operating with only a tiny facet of my sparkly diamond self on show meant I was frustrated AF! 
Deep in my soul I was deeply, deeply unsatisfied.
Business blue balls like no other, baby!
My work only lit me up during the time I was with a client. The rest of the things on my to-do list all felt like a massive ball ache.
It was so out of alignment but I didn’t know myself or trust myself enough to know or recognise this fully.
It also became a reason to beat myself up. It was feeding the story that I could never ever be happy. You see, I set up this bloody business to make a move out of a life that made me unhappy and, look – I was still bloody unhappy!!!
Yep, my self talk was also a bit of a bish back then too – I used to give myself such a hard time about everything. 
Outside I might have looked like the coolest, most confident bean on the planet, but inside, I felt sad, heavy and pathetic really.
And people picked up on this – even if they weren’t fully aware they were.
You get me? Vibes an’ all that.
Something inside me was saying ‘don’t hire me, I’m not the person you think I am’ – yes, the imposter syndrome, self-doubt and lack of self-trust was through the roof.
I did not have any real confidence in myself, my ability or anything really!
Sadsack alert!
What I’m trying to say here is that it doesn’t matter what you present on the outside, if the inside doesn’t match; if you can’t see what you’re bringing to the table; if you’re only operating using a safe and tiny fraction of your awesome, glorious and magic self, you’ll be flying around in your life and business like a fly stuck in a room, bashing itself repeatedly at full force towards a closed window, when there’s a way out to glorious freedom and happiness a few inches away. 

Fail Gif

I honestly thought I was being myself in my business back then.
This is why it was so flipping frustrating.
But the fact was that I didn’t really know myself back then.
And if you don’t know yourself, then you can’t really own something you can’t bloody see, can you? 
This is why success was only ever short lived for me.
Little bursts of it, teasing me, flirting, saying look what’s possible, but never really maintaining it or missing out to someone who seemed less able to do the job in hand.
It drove me bloody insane!
I was right about one thing though, by working as just a photographer, I was only bringing a portion of my magic to the table. 
I was playing it safe.
This was why I was getting such good results for people when I was with them in person but the rest of the job felt wrong – my marketing felt off and I was only ever able to get to a certain point of success.
It wouldn’t be until I saw myself, like really saw myself, put that person out there and fucking owned it, that my peeps were able to come, were able to value what I did for them and were able to became raving bloody fans and admirers for the rest of eternity.
It took me such a long time to get from where I was to Professional Rebel.

It took a long time because I ended up doing a lot of this on my own.
The journey was quite messy – not like a flash like the image above . I wish!
And it wasn’t only the time it took, it was the money spent trying things out, the failed attempts (there were lots of them), the picking the wrong things (cos I didn’t know myself), and above all, it was feeding the internal belief that something was desperately wrong with me all the bloody time.
Working like this was stripping me of my confidence, and the reason for doing all of this was that it was supposed to be helping me get better!
Obviously I hired some coaches and mentors – but a lot of them had their ways of working, which weren’t right for me where I was at. They tried to put me in boxes or follow their special ‘blueprint’, which wasn’t me.
I joined some programs too – but without the accountability and having someone to cheer me along, I would lose interest or not finish things.
I didn’t feel like there was anyone who really saw me back then.
If you can’t see yourself, then you need someone who can help…

My actual magic power is seeing people – at the highest expression of themselves. I see them for who they really are, at their fullest potential. I can see the masks they wear and I pick up on the stories they tell themselves which stop them from seeing what I see.
Using my intuition, I know how to create the perfect experience and space for my clients that allows them to see it too – comfortably, playfully and at their own pace too, and without freaking out too much and hiding!
If you’re feeling like you’ve been playing it safe, hiding who you are and not showing up fully to serve your clients and you’re feeling frustrated or that it’s halting your progress and holding you back – I’ve created something completely unique to help.
It’s called Raw Rebel Realness – The FUCK YES branding experience for visionary leaders. There isn’t anything out there like this and I’ve got two spaces available to start working with me one to one starting in May. If you’d like to know more, get in touch and I’ll send you an application form here.